A Righteous Man

The solemnity of St. Joseph falls within the same week of my father's birthday, so this week makes me think of fathers, and what makes a good father.

St. Joseph sets a standard for all dads, including my own. But my father has given me a first-hand look at how ordinary men can be like St. Joseph.

There were two Gospel readings for Wednesday's Mass, one of which tells us St. Joseph "was a righteous man." So I guess fathers first and foremost must be righteous. The reading that preceded the Gospel, from St. Paul's Letter to the Romans, spoke of Abraham's "righteousness that comes from faith," a righteousness that "depends on faith, so that it may be a gift."

Abraham "believed, hoping against hope, that he would become the father of many nations," the first reading said.

My dad lives a "righteousness that comes from faith," and demonstrated that righteousness when he was worked as a union's business agent and had many opportunities to travel for his job. He often turned down the travel, though, because he didn't want to use union money unwisely or for his own pleasure. That would have countered his convictions as a Catholic.

We also know that because St. Joseph was righteous, he was compassionate. He was unwilling to expose Mary to shame and "decided to divorce her quietly."

My father might be compassionate to a fault. One time when a stranger's car broke down, my father helped the man restart it, and loaned him money to buy a new battery. And naturally, the man never returned to pay my father back. But I'm certain my father wouldn't hesitate to offer the same help again.

He lives Jesus' teaching: "If anyone wants to go to law with you over your tunic, hand him your cloak as well. Should anyone press you into service for one mile, go with him for two miles."

Earlier in the same Gospel passage, Jesus says: "Let your 'Yes' mean 'Yes,' and your 'No' mean 'No.' Anything more is from the evil one."

That's another passage that reminds me of my dad, because like most fathers, he could be firm. As teenagers, my siblings and I sometimes pushed my mom when she said no. But when my dad said no, that was pretty much the end of debate.

Yes, my father could be a bear, someone we feared, but sometimes that was a good thing. Like St. Joseph, he protected his family. In our family's case that sometimes took the form of my dad rebuking someone if they cussed in front of his kids or in any way exhibited lewd behavior. And he still doesn't mind telling people to behave in public.

My father has his faults, but I'd have to say that usually his heart is in the right place, that he has kept his priorities straight. Some men like to spend money on fancy cars, others on nice homes -- my father once said -- but he'd rather spend his money on his kids, just having fun with them. Because of that philosophy, I have a lot of great memories of ice skating, sledding, fishing and watching hockey and baseball games with my dad, my five brothers and sisters and usually a few neighborhood kids.

He continues to be a great example for me, and like St. Joseph, he sets a high standard of fatherhood.

St. Joseph, pray for us, especially for my dad and for all fathers.

Inspired by the Year of Faith, Susan Szalewski began writing weekly columns for us. Although that year is over, we liked them so well that we asked her to keep writing. Thankfully, she said yes. So watch for these on Thursdays and see the Year of Faith Blog here.