The solemnity of St. Joseph falls within the same week of my
father's birthday, so this week makes me think of fathers, and what makes a
good father.
St. Joseph sets a standard for all dads, including my own.
But my father has given me a first-hand look at how ordinary men can be like
St. Joseph.
There were two Gospel readings for Wednesday's Mass, one of
which tells us St. Joseph "was a righteous man." So I guess fathers
first and foremost must be righteous. The reading that preceded the Gospel,
from St. Paul's Letter to the Romans, spoke of Abraham's "righteousness
that comes from faith," a righteousness that "depends on faith, so
that it may be a gift."
Abraham "believed, hoping against hope, that he would
become the father of many nations," the first reading said.
My dad lives a "righteousness that comes from
faith," and demonstrated that righteousness when he was worked as a
union's business agent and had many opportunities to travel for his job. He
often turned down the travel, though, because he didn't want to use union money
unwisely or for his own pleasure. That would have countered his convictions as
a Catholic.
We also know that because St. Joseph was righteous, he was
compassionate. He was unwilling to expose Mary to shame and "decided to
divorce her quietly."
My father might be compassionate to a fault. One time when a
stranger's car broke down, my father helped the man restart it, and loaned him
money to buy a new battery. And naturally, the man never returned to pay my
father back. But I'm certain my father wouldn't hesitate to offer the same help
again.
He lives Jesus' teaching: "If anyone wants to go to law
with you over your tunic, hand him your cloak as well. Should anyone press you
into service for one mile, go with him for two miles."
Earlier in the same Gospel passage, Jesus says: "Let
your 'Yes' mean 'Yes,' and your 'No' mean 'No.' Anything more is from the evil
one."
That's another passage that reminds me of my dad, because
like most fathers, he could be firm. As teenagers, my siblings and I sometimes
pushed my mom when she said no. But when my dad said no, that was pretty much
the end of debate.
Yes, my father could be a bear, someone we feared, but
sometimes that was a good thing. Like St. Joseph, he protected his family. In
our family's case that sometimes took the form of my dad rebuking someone if
they cussed in front of his kids or in any way exhibited lewd behavior. And he
still doesn't mind telling people to behave in public.
My father has his faults, but I'd have to say that usually
his heart is in the right place, that he has kept his priorities straight. Some
men like to spend money on fancy cars, others on nice homes -- my father once
said -- but he'd rather spend his money on his kids, just having fun with them.
Because of that philosophy, I have a lot of great memories of ice skating,
sledding, fishing and watching hockey and baseball games with my dad, my five
brothers and sisters and usually a few neighborhood kids.
He continues to be a great example for me, and like St.
Joseph, he sets a high standard of fatherhood.
St. Joseph, pray for us, especially for my dad and for all
fathers.
Inspired
by the Year of Faith, Susan Szalewski began writing weekly columns for
us. Although that year is over, we liked them so well that we asked her
to keep writing. Thankfully, she said yes. So watch for these on
Thursdays and see the Year of Faith Blog here.
