The Cure for Acedia

It's 3 o'clock in the morning, and I'm sitting aimlessly at a computer.

I've spent hours here, avoiding the inevitable. I've checked emails, listened to music on YouTube and pinned all sorts of pretty and interesting things on Pinterest. While I was avoiding writing for this blog, I should have checked out a Web site named iwastesomuchtime.com. Because that's what I do. I waste so much time.

I've known for a long time that I suffer from the sin of sloth. Recently I learned another name for the distinctly spiritual aspect of my ailment: acedia.

I'm still trying to learn about acedia. From what I have read, the symptoms can be described as listlessness, inertia, boredom and inattentiveness toward duties or prayer. One of my favorite definitions listed the words "langour" and "torpor." A dictionary definition of torpor used as an example the feeling one might have after eating Thanksgiving dinner. Yep, that's how I feel sometimes, like I'm in a food-induced coma. Even thinking about acedia makes me want to take a nap.

Acedia's effect on the the soul can be likened to what depression or A.D.H.D. are to mental health. Like depression, there is a sadness and weariness to it. Like an attention deficit disorder, acedia steals one's ability to focus on obligations to God and others.

But acedia is not exactly an illness or a feeling. It's a sin.

Acedia has been referred to as the "noonday devil" of Psalm 91. I can relate to this demon's attacks as well as to to the line from St. Matthew's Gospel: "The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." 

In my weakness, I turn from God and His goodness toward far lesser pursuits. Instead of giving Him my all, I develop little addictions to things like computer games or become obsessive in reading news stories and political opinions.

In my heart I know: I have better things to do! My spiritual laziness is an obstacle between me and God; it keeps me from doing His will. St. John's Gospel tells us that apart from God we cannot bear fruit and share fully in His joy. I don't want to be separated from God.

The cure for acedia, according to at least one spiritual adviser, is work. At first blush I was surprised by that answer. Rededicating oneself to work and prayer requires constancy, perseverance, and yes, a routine. And it seems counter-intuitive that repetition would help a bored, inattentive soul. 

But God's ways don't always make sense to us. Further thought reminded me that we have two ways to keep from sinning: fight or flight. Work could help in both ways. The mortal enemy of laziness would have to be work, and if I stay busy at work and prayer, I might not be as tempted to find solace at a computer screen or other escape hatch.

Prayer and laboring for God are both vehicles for His grace. And only through His grace can I draw closer to Him and away from sin.

Inspired by this Year of Faith we will be posting columns like this from Susan Szalewski about exploring and/or deepening our faith. Watch for it on Thursdays and see the Year of Faith Blog here.