Things My Mother Taught Me

When I become famous and am asked to write my memoirs, I’ll have to include a chapter called “Things My Mother Taught Me.”

It’ll be a thick chapter.

She’s imparted a lot of lessons, using wisdom and example, humor and anecdotes – even some occasional sharp words and strict discipline when situations warranted it.

Like most mothers, she has employed the power of guilt, when I could sense her disappointment seeping deep into my soul. And she has been known to drop funny little notes or encouraging newspaper articles in lunch sacks, purses or on top of bed pillows. 

There’s a lot she’s passed on about the faith. One lesson I’d have to include would be the way she models trust in God, especially in tough times, and her ability afterward to see how the Lord had been at work bringing graces and blessings.

There was the time my dad lost his position at work and had to settle for a lower-paying one with less consistent hours, especially in the winter. At the time, his job loss seemed devastating for a large family. But my mother prayed and trusted.

And in retrospect, she saw how everything fell into place. Her youngest child had just started college, freeing her up to enter the work force. She’s a nurse, and nurses were in high demand at the time. She happened to see a newspaper ad offering free refresher training and jobs for nurses who had been away from their profession. She took up the offer to supplement her family’s income.

But more importantly, my dad’s time was freed up. He was able to care for his dying father, often spending the night with his parents and delaying the painful task of putting him in a nursing home. For my father, those hours with his dad and away from work were precious.

Looking back, my mother was able to see that what seemed like a bad thing was actually good – that God had provided. But she needed the eyes of faith to see.

I am forever grateful to her for sharing her gifts and lessons of faith. And I’ll pray that God will continue to bless her as she celebrates her birthday this week.

May she continue to grow in trust and wisdom.

Inspired by the Year of Faith, Susan Szalewski began writing weekly columns for us. Although that year is over, we liked them so well that we asked her to keep writing. Thankfully, she said yes. So watch for these on Thursdays and see the Year of Faith Blog here.

Now it's gone

I lost something precious on Thursday.

I'd managed to treasure this gift for nearly 24 years, though sometimes I didn't appreciate it like I should have. But now it's gone, and I know I'll miss it.

I sent off my youngest child to kindergarten, and I'll no longer spend school days with a small child shadowing me.

The days of being a mom to preschoolers have given me sweet memories, whether from the more hectic days of having several young children around or the more relaxed one-on-one time with my youngest child, David. They were my constant companions at home and church, while shopping and running errands or on excursions to the zoo or museums.

God gave me some hindsight through the gift of older children. With four kids now in college and one of those married, I know how fast they grow. For a long time I've seen this day coming, when child No. 9 would go off to kindergarten, to a full day of school. Perhaps I've even become clingy with my youngest kids, trying to hang on to a moment in time.

When the big day finally arrived and I walked David into his kindergarten classroom, the experience was much less dramatic than what I had imagined it would be. I was so busy, tired and frazzled from getting everyone off to school that I forgot to mourn. I hurried David to his desk just moments before the school bell rang, snapped two photos and ran out the door. Outside the classroom, I talked with two other moms. "How are you doing?" one asked, knowing that I might be melancholy. I was fine, just a little numb from not being fully awake.

It was an hour or so later, when I was pushing a cart through a grocery store, that it hit me. I was alone. And a little lonely.

I have my consolations, though. The house I returned to Thursday morning was quieter but still bustling, with a puppy bouncing around and three college kids coming and going. With one more in high school and three others at St. Columbkille, I'm far from being an empty nester.

I'm just no longer the mother of a preschooler.


Inspired by this Year of Faith we will be posting columns like this from Susan Szalewski about exploring and/or deepening our faith. Watch for it on Thursdays and see the Year of Faith Blog here.