I was introduced to Tim on a warm July evening
in the parking lot of a Taco John's restaurant (romantic, I know). Some of his
friends from Prep knew some of my friends from Mercy. The boys recognized my
friend's car in the parking lot and stopped to talk, and throw water at us.
I was sitting on a concrete stoop when Tim
walked up. We talked a little about our both being Polish. I suppose that's
natural when someone named Kisicki meets someone named Szalewski.
After that initial meeting, a couple of months
went by before Tim asked me out on a date. We still saw each other often,
though, whenever our friends crossed paths. And every time that Tim and I would
catch each others' glance, he would fall down. He would trip and tumble, very
dramatically. I'm not sure which is stranger, that a boy would perform
slapstick falls to get a girl's attention, or that a girl would be charmed by
that. But it worked.
Because we were so young (and a bit immature?),
we had a long courtship, eight years. We celebrated our 25th wedding
anniversary on Tuesday.
So what does a silly love story have to do with
faith?
Father Vogel provided one answer when he blessed
our marriage after the 5:30 p.m. Mass on Tuesday. Every faithful marriage
signifies the union Christ has with his spouse, the Church, Father told us. The
loving union of a husband and wife points to a far greater and more glorious
mystery, Christ's union with and love for His Bride.
Anyone who is married knows something about that
love. It requires fidelity, even if your spouse might not be faithful, and
constant sacrifice. There are the day-to-day sacrifices, tiny crosses that teach
us patience and perseverance. We accept these as spouses, but even more so as
parents. And every love story culminates in a bigger and more painful cross,
when we are separated from our loved ones -- through rejection, distance,
illness or death. In other words, we are guaranteed pain when we embrace love.
But love -- in its ultimate symbol of the Cross
-- is victorious over all sin, suffering and death. Love, as St. Paul reminds
us, is eternal.
Tim and I have been blessed so abundantly through
our 25 years of marriage, especially through our children, who seem to share
their father's odd sense of humor.
Tim doesn't purposefully fall so much any more,
though when he stumbles accidentally he still likes to make the most of it. He
enjoys embarrassing his family members as much as possible through his pranks.
Even his loud laugh embarrasses us. I shrink in my seat when we go out for a
movie and he laughs at a funny line. One daughter told me she pretended to not
know who he was when she heard his laugh from across the field at her soccer
game.
Yes, Tim can be embarrassing. But somehow I'm
still charmed by that odd sense of humor and remain in love with him, more than
three decades after we met.
Please pray for all marriages, that God continues
to bless these unions with His graces, and that they reflect the great mystery
of His eternal love.
Inspired by this Year of Faith we will be posting columns like this from Susan Szalewski about exploring and/or deepening our faith. Watch for it on Thursdays and see the Year of Faith Blog here.
