Human Life is Precious

Anyone looking at a portrait of our family would count nine children.

But that picture wouldn't tell the whole story of our family. Two children are missing.

We have no images of those children, who were miscarried in early pregnancy. We never really got to know them, even knowing if they were boys or girls, or one of each.

Yet they existed -- and still exist.

If they were here with us now they would be in college, or at least be college-aged. Long ago I gave them names to help me pray for them and with them: Stephen Michael and Anne Marie.

They were sandwiched into the middle of our family, so their absence creates a four-year gap between our older set of four children and a younger set of five. I'm grateful to the Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha for those five younger children. Doctors there figured out why I had miscarriages and found a simple solution, injections of the hormone progesterone.

I'm also grateful that the doctors intervened when they did. Apparently conventional medicine didn't deem miscarriages worth investigating until a woman had three. We weren't willing to wait for another baby to die. But how I wish we figured out the problem earlier.

The image above, or at least one similar to it, has given me great comfort, particularly because the angel is holding two babies.

A magnet we used to have on our refrigerator also comforted me. The magnet contained a quote from St. John Paul II: "Human life is precious because it is the gift of a God whose love is infinite; and when God gives life, it is forever."

The great pope settled my concerns about why God even bothers to create earthly lives destined to be so short. Our Lord has a higher purpose and plans for those tiny children -- though while we are still on Earth we may never fully grasp His designs. He lovingly created our little ones, and they rest surrounded in His love.

Over the centuries, church scholars have discussed what happens to babies who die before they have a chance to be baptized. I am no longer concerned with that question after a wise person recommended simply entrusting those children to God's mercy. Ultimately, I couldn't think of a better place for them.

"Is there anyone among you who would hand his son a stone when he asked for bread? Or would hand him a snake when he asked for a fish?
"If you, then, evil as you are, know how to give your children what is good, how much more will your Father in Heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" -- Matthew 7:9-11

Sometimes when I pray, I imagine Jesus holding my babies. I ask Him to kiss them for me. And I ask them to kiss His Holy Face for me. Pray for our family, I ask the children, so that some day all of us can join you in God's presence.

I encourage anyone who has undergone the loss of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death to attend an Oct. 14 prayer service hosted by the Elizabeth Ministry and led by Father Reeson. The 7 p.m. service will honor and remember our babies and offer support to those who mourn their deaths.

Let us entrust our little ones to the Lord and find our solace in Him.

Stephen Michael and Anne Marie -- and all of your little friends --  pray for us!

Inspired by the Year of Faith, Susan Szalewski began writing weekly columns for us. Although that year is over, we liked them so well that we asked her to keep writing. Thankfully, she said yes. So watch for these on Thursdays and see the Year of Faith Blog here.

My Personal Experience With NFP

 by Lisa Brandon 
This week, the Church is celebrating National Natural Family Planning (NFP) Awareness Week. NFP is the method of family planning approved by the Catholic Church to achieve and postpone pregnancy.  It involves looking for natural signs in order to determine a woman’s fertile period. When implemented correctly, it is over 99% effective for avoiding pregnancy. Couples who use NFP grow in virtue, communication, intimacy and have significantly lower rates of divorce than couples who use contraception.

It wasn’t until the summer before my senior year of college, that I began to learn more about NFP and contraception. A dear friend mailed me a cassette entitled “Contraception: Why Not?”  It was by Janet E. Smith, an international speaker on the Catholic teachings on sexuality. Her talk discussed the negative side effects of using contraception.  I didn’t know that the pill could cause high blood pressure, blood clots, stroke, cancer, heart attack, depression, irritability, weight gain, migraine, loss of libido, infertility and an early abortion if a woman does conceive. She then explained the beauty and benefits of NFP. This began my personal journey of learning more about contraception and NFP.

During our 11 years of marriage, Mike and I have used the Creighton Model.  This NFP method was developed by Dr. Thomas Hilgers, the founder of the Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha. The first four years of marriage, Mike worked out-of-town each week. NFP challenged us to grow in selflessness, communication, discipline, and chastity. The Creighton Model helped us prayerfully discern God’s call to begin our family. Within a week of Mike getting a job in Omaha, we found out we were expecting our first. Irick (7) was followed by his sister, Emry, 15 months later.

After over a year of trying to conceive again, my NFP charts showed signs of secondary infertility. The Pope Paul VI Institute diagnosed and surgically treated my endometriosis. Our son Kyler was born within less than a year of having surgery. Several months after his birth, I became very anxious, irritable, had irrational thoughts and could not sleep. The Pope Paul VI Institute identified my postpartum depression and treated it with progesterone. I was amazed by its effectiveness.

NFP has helped Mike and I develop a deeper prayer life as a couple and trust in God. With Kyler turning two, we each felt that God was calling us to be open to another little one. After 4 months of praying together, we said yes to God. Baby is due the end of January.

“O Lord of hosts, happy the man who trusts in you” Psalm 84:13. NFP does involve trusting in God’s will for you. Trust in Him. He will bless you in so many ways, for God has beautiful plans for you, your marriage, and your family.

Lisa and Mike Brandon